It has been a whirlwind few days and a BIG thanks goes out to every single person who wrote me such sweet notes and comments upon hearing the back-to-school news. Sabine (here's your shout-out!) wrote me a beautiful message with all sorts of encouraging words on the (once I get over the trauma) benefits of daycare. Brooke told me her back-to-school story, Wendi and Marla are living proof that daycare produces beautiful, intelligent women who love their mother. Shelly spoke positive words into my life. Keight and Joanna gave my boobs encouragement. Both grandmas rushed up to hold my hand, talk me off the ledge, reinforce every reason why this is a good thing. Matt has been a saint, with nothing but hugs and high fives, even when I blubbered my way through the daycare tour, endlessly weighed pros and cons and forced him to listen to every possible scenario of what-if. All of you were so nice.
Before I went for the interview, I said I wanted peace in my heart about whatever decision was made. And I have it. I'm actually excited to dive into this new experience. I think Violet will really thrive in daycare and get exposed to a lot of things I couldn't give her (for one thing, the sheer amount of toys and baby gear they have!) Both grandmas have given their stamp of approval to the place and the teachers seem wonderful and ready to take on the challenge that is called Violet Loughman. And I'll just cherish the moments we have together all the more for our separation.
I'm officially the school's new first grade instructional assistant, meaning I'll be working with all the teachers, rotating into their rooms to help in whatever instructional capacity they need, be it small group work or pulling kids out for assessments, etc. It's a great way for me to get my foot in the door, get a tons of hands-on experience (after all, it's been a good year since I was student teaching), get to know everyone, so that hopefully I'll get my own class next year. It's a brand new position for the school (I think the principal wanted to do more with me that just make me a kindergarten parapro so he created the role). It means I'll get to work alongside my wonderful neighbor who got me the job (and who worried I was going to stop speaking to her as all this rained down on my head!) It will also give me a chance to transition back into the work force in a way that lets me leave all my responsibilities at the door and come home to be a full-time mommy every afternoon. Win win! (The most likely to be measly paycheck is the only downside, but it's not all about the money.) I really look at this as my transition year, with only bigger and better things to come. I think I've landed at a really good place, with administrators who really have my best interests at heart. I think I'd be very happy to stay there a long time, and hopefully I will.
Violet's new favorite toy? Her toes! She finally figured out she has feet!
I'm so thankful that I have found a situation that I can feel good, nay, excited about! I finally feel like I've earned the many "congratulations" that have come my way. I've still got the anxious knot in the pit of my stomach, and I know Monday is going to be brutal as I drive away from the daycare with nothing in the backseat but a gaping whole where my baby girl is supposed to be sitting. But I firmly believe God brought this opportunity into our lives and I'm ready to go.
PS My boobs got a little pep rally from a ton of supportive moms over the last couple days. Just so you know, I plan to continue nursing as long as I can, in the morning before school and as soon as we get home again. Violet will get bottled breastmilk (as long as the freezer stash holds out, and trust me, there's quite a bit) during the day and then we'll supplement with formula. You know, just in case you were wondering.
It must have been a different Joanna that encouraged your boobs!! Hahaha because I don't know anything about breastfeeding :-) But my heart goes out to you and your family's adjustment!
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