Hands Free Baby

I'm not traditionally a baby-wearer. First off, I really dislike the term "baby wearing". It's not like my infant in a fashion accessory or an article of clothing! But beyond the term, it's just not something I did a lot with Violet. We were loaned a Baby Bjorn at some point, but it was late enough that Violet never really got into it and neither did I. I seemed to just bump her into things if I ever tried to use it to help get things done. (Nothing like attempting to unload the dishwasher and banging your child's head into the granite countertop!) And honestly, it took more time to put on and configure than it would have to just pick her up and go. On top of that, we never really went places that weren't stroller accessible, and given the choice between the two, I'm going to pick stroller versus strapping on and lugging about.

But... now that I have two children to keep up with, and both still require hands-on holding, I've decided to give the whole baby carrier thing a try. Along with the Bjorn, I've also been loaned a Moby wrap. It's essentially a super long piece of heavy-duty fabric that you have to loop and tie around yourself, making these little pockets that the baby gets slipped into. I had to consult youtube just to figure out how to get the thing on! But once it was in place, both Annie and I were surprisingly comfortable.

I can actually see myself using this one. Maybe not for hanging around the house, but certainly for the pumpkin patch or zoo. But what has really convinced me is that, thanks to my c-section, I'm not supposed to be lifting anything heavy. And car seat plus baby equals heavy. I'm eager to start driving again, but what's the point in driving somewhere if I can't lug the car seat in and out of the car. Now eventually this will cease to be an issue. But for now, I can't even figure out how to go to Violet's parent appreciation breakfast at school short of holding Annie in my arms the whole time (not the safest long-term solution). But with the Moby, I could get it tied on before we leave the house, slip the baby inside once we reach our destination, and be free to grab Violet's hand before she darts across the parking lot.

We'll see if Annie ends up being fall's hottest new fashion statement. Any other baby wearing methods I should check out? Tips or tricks for getting around the car seat lifting dilemma until I'm a little further in my recovery?

Life with a Broken Collarbone

A lazy morning with Daddy.

Parenting has gotten difficult lately. Not that it's ever a piece of cake. But this broken collarbone has really thrown us off our game.

Here's the problem. Violet is in pain. I think. I mean, if I ask, sometimes she concurs that yes, her boo-boo hurts. (Of course, sometimes she impatiently gives me a withering what-are-you-talking-about-get-out-of-my-way look.) But she doesn't act like she's in pain most of the time. So we're left to our best judgement to medicate or not.

Plus, Violet is down to one arm. And there is a limited amount of stuff you can do when you're two-and-a-half and can only use one arm. To her credit, it hasn't seemed to slow her down much. She's still on the swing set, climbing stairs, going to her dance class at school. But she's also watching a lot of television. More than she was watching before, when I was already feeling guilty about her screen time.

And we broke one of our sacred parenting rules (seriously, NEVER set a parenting rule. It's just an invitation to break said rule and then feel rotten). We let Violet sleep in our bed the night she broke her collarbone. And then somehow it happened again. And now I'm worried we're verging on forming a bad habit. And our bed is not that big, folks. And even if it was, it's my bed!

So I know we're dealing with a unique situation here. But I alternate between wanting to do whatever we need to just to get through this particular season in our life and being paranoid that we're forming bad habits and raising a spoiled child and it will all come back to bite us next week. Because Violet has had some BAD moments this last week. Some tantrum-throwing, mommy-slapping, the devil must be in you moments. They were ugly. To the point that I have seriously contemplated whether that restaurant fall damaged more than just her collarbone.

I'm wondering if this is a taste of what we're in for when Violet becomes a hormonal teenager. Or if this is just a hurt little girl trying to deal with her frustration and pain. Trying to find the balance is hard. Trying to survive the moments is hard. Parenting is hard.

Potty Training

Disclaimer: Sometimes I try to think up clever titles for my posts, but this time, I want you to know exactly what you're about to read. Just in case some of you have problems reading about such things. I mean, I know everybody does it, but I also appreciate that not everybody likes to hear about it. So, use your own judgement. That being said, I'll keep the icky details to a minimum.

We are potty training today. And it is no joke. Violet is currently (fingers crossed) napping. I kind of wish I was, too. I am exhausted. My head hurts. My back hurts. My emotions are fragile.

I haven't spent this much one-on-one in-your-face time with Violet since she was an infant. We've been in constant contact and communication since she woke up this morning. I've barely taken my eyes off her. And that's intense. There have been few distractions such as tv or friends, because distractions are exactly that. They distract. And when Violet is distracted, she pees on the floor. Not in the potty. And we're aiming for potty here, folks.

As soon as she woke up this morning, she donned the Minnie Mouse "big girl pants" she picked out at the store. I set my phone to beep every five minutes and we were off. Phone beeps, she sits on potty, she gets an M&M. We probably did this six times in a row to no effect. And then she had three accidents in a row, often just a minute after getting off the toilet. Not cool. I tried not to get discouraged. I received multiple encouraging texts from my neighbor Kim.

Violet takes care of business while playing on the phone. Oh, like you've never done that.

Finally we struck gold and you should have seen my happy dance. This time, the reward was a fistful of gummy bears. That seemed rather motivating. Kim came over as emotional reinforcement and brought stickers and stamps to further bribe encourage Violet. And she brought lunch, which probably saved my sanity. We had some more success. And some more failure. Step forward, step back.

At last count, there have been nine accidents and seven bullseyes. I'm not sure if that is a good ratio or not. My biggest issue is whether Violet is truly ready for this. Because if she's not, I don't want to waste my time. After all, daycare can take up this cross when school starts again. But hey, if the time is right I want to take advantage of it.

Using stamps to count up our victories. Look how proud she is!

But honestly, diapers seem awfully convenient at this point. And the thought of continuing the effort when she wakes up in a few minutes is frankly exhausting me. Part of me wants to pat myself on the back, get a gold star for effort, and live to fight another day. Consistency - what a drag.

A friend from school gave me the best advice. When this is all over, I'm going to buy myself a present. Oh, I'm supposed to get Violet a present to use as motivation, you say? Nope, I think I'm the one that really deserves it!

Class Pet?

To be (a class pet) or not to be?

I've recently been given the option of borrowing this little lady as a class pet.

For the record, I hate the idea of class pets. I don't have one. Never wanted one. They are distracting. Messy. You have to worry about them on weekends and find sitters for them over long breaks. It's one more creature to worry about in an already crowded room. Yet another creature that won't clean up after itself.

But... it would earn me some cool teacher points. Most of the other first grade classrooms have something, even if it's just a frog or two. I've caught my students staring longingly at Tad, the neighboring reptile, whenever we pass through his classroom. And we're about to launch into our animal unit.

BUT (notice the bigger but), Matt has already declared he will not have this rodent in our house. Turtle, maybe. Gerbil, no.

What to do? What to do?

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Do not let this adorable face fool you.

I sent Violet to daycare on Monday with a wee bit of trepidation, given our recent paci removal. In the afternoon when I picked her up, I eagerly read her daily report sheet, where her sweet teacher always leaves comments letting me know how the day went. Usually they are hilarious, such as this one:


"Violet had a great day! She cracks me up going around checking everyone's diaper lately... even mine!"

I wanted to know if there was paci drama at naptime, so I scanned down the sheet of facts (what she ate, how much, length of nap, activities, etc) to get to the comments. There, her teacher wrote what essentially boiled down to: no paci problems (positive!), but Violet was hitting her friends and laughing (negative!), still she gave sweet hugs (positive!)

Um, I'm a teacher, ya'll. I recognize the positive, negative, positive framework. That's code for: we have a serious problem but I'm going to break it to you gently and then try to soften the blow at the end.

So Violet had a tough day, to put it mildly. I did not raise this child to hit and then laugh about it. I was mortified and mad. And in a quandary about how to address the issue. It's not like I could take her home and put her in timeout - she wouldn't be able to connect her punishment to the crime. But it's not like I could have a serious lecture about it and expect it to resonate either - she's only two (almost). Cue parenting crisis.

I'm fairly lucky, I haven't had too many parenting dilemmas come up so far. But I have a feeling we're seeing the turn of the tide. I did end up talking to Violet and reminding her that she needs to be sweet to her friends. I made her show me gentle hands (she runs her palm lightly over my hand). We talked about not hitting. And I had to hope it would sink in and stick. (I also wrote a lengthy note to her teacher letting her know we were taking it seriously and how we were handling it so she could use the same terminology. As a teacher, I know it sucks sending notes home but it's so helpful if parents respond, at least with an acknowledgement of the situation. I need to know we're a team.) But is there anything else I can do with Violet to let  her know this behavior is not okay? Especially since it  happens when I'm not around?

I'm glad to report that today was better. I heard no rumors of hitting or other ugly behavior. And it's interesting... Dropping Violet off at school in the morning is generally drama. The teacher has to pry her from my arms and go into immediate distraction mode while I slip out, usually without even a hug or kiss lest the waterworks start up. And Mondays are the worst. But this Monday, after giving up her pacifier, Violet marched right into her room and didn't look back. Today as well, she charged in, gave me a "peace out mama" hug, and dismissed me without a second glance. Both days she was also happy when I picked her up, not the wailing tear-stained child clutching Elmo as though she's just been orphaned. It's like she morphed into a little grown-up after ditching "night-night". Perhaps it's just a coincidence, but I find it rather curious...

Stutter

Recently Violet has developed a stutter. Actually, it's not so much a stutter as it is an inability to get her words out. Which is probably the definition of a stutter, now that I think about it. It's goes like this: "Bu-bu-bu-bu-bubub-bu-bye-bye Daddy!" It's almost as though her brain is working faster than her little mouth can get the words out, so she gets stuck on one sound until the entire thought can burst forth fully formed. It's a little cute and a little annoying. Hopefully it's a developmental thing that she'll grow out of. I'm not sure if I should be worried or not.

Speaking of developmental, Matt noticed that Violet only rolls in one direction. Is that weird? Physically we can roll her over the other way. But if asked, she only rolls clockwise. If she reaches a barrier, rather than rolling back the other way, she gets up and walk herself to another position so she can continue her clockwise movement. I don't know... maybe it's like a right-hand, left-hand thing.

And Violet still has paci. She's as addicted as ever. I just don't know how we're going to break the habit. Fortunately the dentist didn't seem to upset when I called for advice. I was expecting a bigger guilt trip than the one they lay on me every visit for not flossing enough. But they seemed rather cool with it. Obviously the woman I spoke with is a sympathetic mother. That's the only way I escaped with as much grace as I did. We are going to take that darned paci away, I promise. For one, I'm getting tired of my nightly 3 a.m. trek upstairs to dig the blasted thing out from under the bed when the "mama... night-niiiight!" wail starts up.

Alright, that's all from the mom-of-the-year files. At least I have a sweet girl who loves giving hugs and kisses and insists that I watch her "hop duh buddy" (hop like a bunny) across the living room. She really is the best.

Organized

One of the goals I continually set for myself is being more organized. That and keeping a clean house, but I've solved that problem for the time-being. And having a clean house motivates me that much more when it comes to putting away all the junk that we seem to accumulate daily.

A week ago I came across this insanely organized home, and it inspired me instantly. And very quickly I managed to do some of the things that have been on my list all summer. Check it out!

Creative uses for a pool noodle.

This doesn't really have anything to do with organizing, but it's one of those things that needed to get done and finally happened. This kitchen countertop brace has a really sharp edge, and Violet was bound to slam into it any day now. So Matt and I decided to slide on a pool noodle. Success! Plus cheap and easy, my two favorite words.

No more junk drawer!

 Our junk drawer has been getting out of hand lately. Everything ends up in there, from keys to stamps to rubberbands and tape measures. Now we have an easy-to-see over-the-door organizer (originally made to store shoes) in our pantry. Everything has a place, quick to see, and all I have to do is close the door and the junk is out of sight. Eventually I might even get crafty enough to make cute labels for all the pockets!

Jewelry organizer courtesy of the dollar store.

Finally I went and  bought some suction cup hooks from the dollar store and now have all my long necklaces hanging up on the mirror in my bathroom. Now they won't get tangled and I might actually remember to wear them since they're hanging prettily in view and not jammed in my jewelry box. Plus, my mirror is so huge, it's actually nice to have something on it to break up the space. Again, easy and cheap!

So, they're just small things, but I think they'll make a big difference around here. Of course, one of my biggest hurdles remains untackled - a mail organizer. We tend to just bring it in and put it on the counter. Then when it's my turn to cook dinner, the pile gets shoved in a corner and just grows bigger, more disorganized, and dustier. What I covet is this pretty and simple hanging mail organizer. I even found the right files at Target, but they cost 15 bucks each! There is no way I'm making a 45 dollar mail organizer, no matter how pretty it looks! So this project is on hold for a while until I can come up with something cheaper. Any ideas? How do you stay organized?

Hitting the Road

So in the near future, our little family of three will be hitting the road, headed the 10 hours north to Ohio for a family reunion.

Once again, I am afraid. It was one thing to jump in the car with my neighbors and head to the beach. For one thing, that journey was only seven hours. Plus, Violet was in the car with two little boys she knows and loves who kept her entertained (or at least distracted with their own complaints... hey, misery loves company). But this time it's just me, Matt and Violet. She'll be alone in the backseat. Well, alone with her DVD players and Elmo and as many snacks as I can toss her way.

Does anyone have any brilliant tips to share on how to get us all there in one piece, sanity intact?

As I see it, we have three options, none of which is overly appealing to me right now.

Option 1 (and Matt's favorite): Leave around dinner time. Drive halfway, with the intent that Violet will fall asleep in the car. Somehow wrangle sleeping babe from dark car, through bright lobby, into hotel room where pack-n-play must be silently set up. Everyone sleeps beautifully, rises refreshed and we trek the rest of the way the next day. (Note my escalating sarcasm as I contemplate the potential number of things that will go wrong here.) Worst case scenario, Violet wakes up when we get to the hotel, and after sleeping soundly for the last leg of the trip, decides it's time to bust a move in a rented room the size of our master bath while irate neighbors bang on the walls and ceiling.

Option 2 (which could totally work, Matt!): Go to bed early and set the alarm for 4 a.m. Pop a sleeping Violet into her car seat and stealthily creep onto the dark highway. Make the journey in one day, arriving in time for Violet to get her wiggles out in the hotel pool, surrounded by grandparents who are eager to let us take a nap. (It's sounding better and better, Matt, admit it!) Worst case, Violet wakes up at 4 a.m. and gives us guff for a few miles. She is bound to sleep at some point in the trip, right?

Option 3: We suck it up, leave at a godly hour in the morning (say, 9-ish) and make the drive straight through the day. This is what we did for Florida and it worked okay (see first paragraph for my concerns with this option).

Option 4, driving through the night, was discounted due to the fact that it's a) dangerous, b) dumb, and c) how insane would I have to be to arrive at a new destination with no sleep exactly when my child is waking from a blissful slumber, ready to rumble?

Option 5, flying, was taken off the table due to a) cost, b) Violet's inability to sit still for more than 20 minutes at a time, and c) the sheer amount of crap we're lugging with us (pack-n-play, stroller, booster seat, suitcases, Elmo, Babydoll (pronounced BAH-boo), miscellaneous toys, snacks, diaper bag, extra measures of grace, mercy, a large heap of patience, some extra patience in case the first measure runs out, some extra sanity while we're at it... you get the picture).

So what do you guys think? Any advice? Any horror stories to share? No, scratch that, I don't want to know. I only want helpful, sympathetic comments revealing the secrets of hitting the road with a child.

Hmm... maybe a new poll is in order!

Getting Old...

Well, it finally happened. I turned 30, and now I'm falling apart. My knee is killing me. I've never had joint pain, or aches and pains anywhere really, so this is unfamiliar and unwanted territory for me. On Tuesday I was walking through the school hall and realized my left knee hurt a bit. The next day, it hurt a lot and I'd lost some range of motion. Now it aches to walk up the stairs and I definitely can't kneel on the floor to help get Violet's shoes on.

And no, I don't know what I did to it. I don't remember doing anything, actually. It just started hurting. Although... it hurts a lot more when I hold Violet. In fact, I've had to change the position I carry her because of it. Could it be that the strain of holding my own child has busted my knee? Good grief! (Although she does weight 24.8 pounds, and I've been toting her around for more than a year now, so I guess it's possible...) So, what can I do for knee pain? Besides complaining about it. Because frankly, that hasn't been helping any.

Looking all grown up...

Someone else who is getting old is our cat Spooky. Yesterday we came to the solemn realization that she is deaf. As deaf as a doornail. And possibly has been for some time now. We should have realized something was up when she stopped hiding under the bed during thunderstorms. She's been riding them out on top of the covers, hardly bothered at all, and we've had some pretty violet weather lately. I thought maybe she'd finally grown out of her fear. Alas, it seems she just can't hear anymore.

Checking the fridge for a "nak".

As for the rest of the family, Matt and Violet are both battling sinus infections. So we're pretty much falling apart over here! But only one more day until sweet, sweet Spring Break, so I think we'll survive. Over-achieving plans for the break include painting our bedroom, dentist appointments, getting my hair cut, going to a wedding shower and birthday party, hitting up some thrift stores in search of goodies for next year's classroom, and (drum roll please) leaving Violet overnight for the first time! We'll see how much actually gets accomplished, but right now I'm choosing to be optimistic!

Nak? Are you there? It's me, Violet!

You Give Me Fever (Bieber Fever)

So I don't know much about Justin Bieber, although I'm sure my first grade girls could fill me in on all the details. Does he qualify as dreamy? Hottt (with three t's)? I feel so out of touch.

Here's what I can say with all confidence, however: He's young. He sings. And he has massively weird hair. What is up with the forward comb? This kid is going to turn into Donald Trump in a few years if he's not careful!

But there's something oddly familiar about this guy...

I've seen this hairstyle before...

Ah yes, that's it. I knew I'd seen that look somewhere else. Give it a few more years to thicken up and fill in, and Violet could give Bieber a run for his mousse money.

I have got to do something about her hair. How do I get Violet to leave her hair bows alone? What can I do about the 'do?

Night Night

One thing that we are blessed with is that Violet doesn't have much difficulty going to bed. Is it the books I read, the "schedule" we implemented? Is it the routine we follow? Who knows. But even when she was smaller, I had a five minute limit on letting her cry it out, and rarely did she ever take the entire time period. I would sit at the top of the steps outside her room, waiting for her to fall asleep (too lazy to keep running up and down... I would just take a book with me and wait).

Right now, our bedtime routine involves a bath (about every other night... again, too lazy. Yikes, I'm starting to make myself sound bad!), putting on pj's, getting a bottle, and then going straight into the crib, usually half awake. Once in her crib, Violet rolls herself over and conks out, generally before we've even left the room. Once she's down, I breathe a sigh of relief and get on with my evening, confident we won't hear a peep out of her. Gone are the nights when we tiptoed around, holding our collective breath that she'd stay asleep and let us have a few minutes to ourselves.These days, we know we're good to go.

Ah, the good old days of sleeping anywhere, anytime.

So imagine my dismay when my normally great sleeper suddenly started waking up in the middle of the night. For a while there, Matt and I were both getting up at least once and stumbling upstairs to find a distraught Violet sitting up in her crib, wailing to herself in the dark. This is the problem when your child can sit themselves up - they sit themselves up! I don't know if she can't figure out how to lay back down or what, but the minute we would appear in the room, the cries would turn desperate and generally we'd be suckered into picking her up and bringing her downstairs to our bed.

A word about this. Letting your child sleep in your bed is a terrible habit to start. And habits form very quickly at this age. After three nights in a row of this behavior, I knew we were in trouble. But it's so hard not to pick her up when she's so sad (and we're so exhausted).

Still not listening....!

So I'm opening the floor for any advice you might have. In my weekly baby development email, this past week was all about napping (Violet's terrible napping skills will have to be addressed in a separate post) but it did include the tidbit that whenever babies approach a big milestone (learning to crawl, pull up, etc) their sleep patterns might get disrupted "temporarily". (And wow, that weekly email is tracking perfectly with Violet's development! Spooky!) She's definitely getting the whole pulling up skill down pat, so perhaps that's what the sleep issues have been all about? I don't know.

Things have gotten slightly better over the last few nights. We're down to only comforting her twice a night now, we haven't had to rescue her out of the crib in a few days, and last night she was back asleep before Matt or I even made it all the way to her room. I'm hoping we're getting over this hump, because it's one thing to be up all night when you're snowed in and have nothing better to do during the day, but with school back in session come Monday, these parents need some sleep!

In your dreams...

Tradition

Starting a new family also means we get to start some of our own holiday traditions... I'm still trying to work our what ours will be. I know a tradition is made over many years (after all, tradition is defined as something passed down from generation to generation, a continuing pattern, etc) and I shouldn't worry about inventing the wheel in one day here, but it's exciting to think about starting something that will be continuing when Violet is old enough to understand Christmas and she can look forward to certain things always happening.

So in that line of thinking, what are some of your family's favorite holiday traditions?

I thought we'd be starting the Christmas custom of trekking to the tree farm and sipping hot cocoa as we merrily bickered over which tree to chop down and haul home for decorating. Alas, my type of Christmas tree (Fraser Fir) doesn't grow here in Georgia. So we started the new tradition of driving a few blocks across town to our local Lowes to pick one out. (Mild bickering still ensued.) So much for that idea. But I grew up with real, live trees, and Fraser Firs at that, so I guess I'm still carrying on that tradition.

Funny how things get stuck in our heads... it just wouldn't be Christmas with a fake tree (although I know many people who sport perfectly lovely fake trees). The year my mom misguidedly decided to go fake, my brother and I revolted in horror and insisted Christmas would be ruined if she didn't return it immediately to the store and do penance at the local Lowes. (She admits it was her dumbest idea to date.)

Now that I have a child of my own, I need to decide about the whole Santa thing. Here's the deal: I never believed in Santa. I don't know if my parents just didn't encourage the fantasy or I was too practical of a child to really believe there was a jolly old guy who managed to hit every chimney in the world in a few short hours. But part of me wishes I had believed, so I'm bound and determined to make sure Violet does. So here's the question: should "Santa" wrap the presents? Should there be special Santa paper that only he wraps in? Should the presents just be displayed in all their glory under the tree come Christmas morn? At my neighbor's house, Santa leaves three unwrapped gifts. At other homes, he leaves one giant present. Still other people have wrapped presents from jolly old St. Nick. So many options! What does Santa do at your house?

And don't even get me started with the whole Elf on the stinkin' shelf! I had no intentions of starting this tradition until I realized every single kid at my elementary school has an Elf at home, and most teachers have them in the classrooms. Violet can't be the only one without! But while some elves are content to just move from place to place each night, others are mischievous. The Elf next door has been known to make hot chocolate in the middle of the night, toilet paper the boys' rooms and swing from the chandelier. Good grief!

So I ask again, what are some of your favorite traditions for this time of year? Do you get a new ornament every year, or perhaps a special pair of PJs on Christmas Eve? Is there a favorite food you look forward to, something that only appears this time of year? Do you look forward to the Christmas Eve candlelight service or a live Nativity display? Perhaps you enjoy driving around your neighborhood gazing at (and criticizing) the decorations. I'm eager to find out what customs you take part in!

Monday's Child

41 Weeks

 So, someone's in a good mood!

 On a side note... should I cut Violet's hair? It's a little longish in the front.

 Sums up Violet's thoughts on the proposed haircut. But what's your opinion?

Car Seat Blues

Lately whenever I put Violet in the carseat, she starts crying. Any idea what that could be about?

 Don't let this smiling face fool you... Daddy put her in the car this time.

I'm wondering if it's my method... She's so heavy, and the seat is so awkward, that by the time I maneuver her head under the door frame, I have no choice but to basically drop her into the seat. Not graceful in the slightest. So that could be an issue. (For the record, she doesn't cry when Matt puts her in every morning for our trip to daycare.) I'm also wondering if she's afraid of it, or rather, what it means - she's going to be stuck there in the backseat by herself for an indeterminate amount of time - LAME.

The crying really picks up after I'm loading her in the car to take her home from daycare. She's probably thinking - finally, my mom is back! And then the first thing I do is stick her in the car. It's gotten so bad that all I have to do is open the car door and she freaks out and starts clinging desperately to my neck as if I'm about to abandon her on a desert island filled with baby-eating wildebeests or something.

Anyway, any advice out there from fellow mommies who have experienced something similar?