Many times I get on here to complain about something. Lament the fussiness. Worry over the lack of schedule, the abundance of crying, the fear of mommy-hood. But you know, things have been pretty good for a while. It's hard to remember how stressed out and overwhelmed I was at the beginning. Those first two or three weeks... wow. It's amazing we survived.
I've experienced a lot of firsts between then and now. Our first trip away from home, the first diaper change while out and about, the first projectile spit-up that hit the floor so loud I thought at first I'd dropped my cell phone. And every new thing I encounter and overcome is just one more step out of the fog. Why, these days I can actually contemplate leaving Violet for half a day while we take off for a friend's wedding in Athens. I can spend a lovely hour on a patio at a doughnut shop (hello Dutch Monkey!), sitting in the sun, chatting with a friend, not freaking out as we draw ever closer to Violet's waking hour.
There was a time I would have been afraid to leave the house alone, or within 90 minutes of when Violet might awake (what if she wakes up early, frantically hungry? What if I get a flat tire and I'm stranded? What if she starts screaming in the grocery store and everyone starts looking at me like I'm a horrible mom and obviously neglecting my child?) But I'm chilling out about it. And as I get more relaxed, I think Violet does too. I'm starting to learn her cries. I no longer flip out when she starts to wail. (I still feel really bad for her when she has tummy issues, but I don't freak out about it. As my mom says, this too shall pass.)
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I feel like we've turned a corner. Or lots of corners. We're definitely moving in the right direction. No longer am I looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, now I'm standing in that pool of light. And things look pretty good from here.
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