Free Time?

I read a fascinating article in the New York Times the other day (and I apologize for how pretentious that sentence sounds). For a while now I've been browsing the Motherlode blog (great name!) that appears in the Sunday Magazine. It is always full of interesting topics, from whether our girls are being indoctrinated by a Cinderella culture to what to do on yet another snow day "stuck" with the kids.

Anyway, this particular article addressed a study recently completed on how much free time parents have. It did a minute by minute breakdown of the day and basically concluded that after work, the commute, chores, taking care of the kids, cooking, sleeping... Parents basically have a mere 90 minutes to call their own each day.

I haven't calculated my own free time, but I do know that I have had days where I feel like my life isn't mine anymore. There's always something else to be done. Last night Matt gave Violet her bath and I was almost giddy by how much I accomplished while he had her occupied. I wish I could say that I used those precious few moments to prop my feet up or use the new facial mask I've been dying to try since I got it for my birthday. But no, I ran around the house like a mad woman, making bottles for the next day, cleaning the kitchen, starting a load of laundry. And it felt good to get those things crossed off the to-do list. And it makes me a little sad that I felt so accomplished afterward.

My own free time occurs in the time between when Violet goes to bed (8 or 8:30) and when I choose to pass out myself (anywhere between 8:30 and 11). I trade personal time for sleep. Sometimes I can't decide which is more vital. And of course, just because it's my time, doesn't mean I'm always doing things for me. As the comments in the above mentioned article prove, grocery shopping is allotted from "free" time. Um, grocery shopping is not something I do for pleasure!

I'm not complaining (I hear those snorts of disbelief). Life changes when you choose to start a family (note the verb choose. Because it was a choice for me and I accept everything that comes along with it). I wouldn't want it any other way. But I do wistfully miss those carefree days of making decisions on a whim, being spontaneous, when going out meant nothing more complicated than grabbing my car keys. I miss luxuriating in a long, hot shower without having one ear perked up for the sounds of a baby's cry (although my water bill thanks me immensely for my new, truncated showers).

What about you, Moms? Do you agree with the article's assessment of 90 minutes of free time? How do you enjoy those minutes? What do you miss most?