Back in the days of breast-feeding, then bottles, then the quest to get Violet eating rice cereal, then our gradual introduction to various new baby foods... back in those days, I didn't realize how good I had it. My girl was an eating machine - there was no food she wouldn't suck down with gusto, even the nasty smelling green beans or puke-colored mixed vegetables. Violet just liked getting the spoon in her mouth with all the new flavors. I mentally congratulated myself. My plan to be the mom who refused to let my child be a picky eater was working perfectly. Still, I longed for the days when she would be able to feed herself. Ah, to be able to sit down to my own dinner with having to turn every few seconds to stuff a spoon in Violet's mouth! Freedom! I could almost taste the sweetness!
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| Our battlefield. |
I've always said my kids will eat what I put in front of them. I'm not going to let them get away with wanting the crust cut off their sandwiches. They don't get to eat mac and cheese every day or refuse anything green. Nope, they'll eat what we eat and they'll like it! My neighbors have provided an excellent model to this effect - when we all eat together, the kids' plates look pretty much like ours. Even if they choose not to eat it, that's their issue. They go to bed hungry. There is no catering to their whims. And as such, these kids will try everything! I think it's great - hopefully they'll grow up with a palate for all kinds of food.
However, as I have discovered painfully in the past, life doesn't always run by my playbook. We'd introduced finger food here and there, to mixed results. Crackers were a hit, veggies not so much, and so on. But after New Year's, I'd had enough of baby food. No more! I declared. It's all real food from now on.
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| No, it's not a chicken wing like I first thought. Pizza crust. |
It's been a long, trying, uphill battle. And I do mean battle. Meals have turned into wars and all parties come out covered in food. Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes those tears are even Violet's. Tensions can run high, bad words are choked on before they leave our lips, spoons are wrestled from fists, complaints are issued with gusto and the floor... well, I can't even talk about the state of the floor (and keep in mind, we eat in other people's houses multiple times a week - we are not the easiest of guests).
I know we shouldn't make food something to fight over. But it's hard when Violet won't eat! Sometimes it just takes patience - the first day she tried pears, she flung them with disdain. The next day, she chewed them and spit them out. Now she sucks them down. But with other food, she seems to take great joy in giving me a sly grin and then flinging fistfuls to the floor. (Is it terrible that I'll just pick it up and put it back on her tray? Otherwise there wouldn't be any food left for her to eat! The girl could probably toss an entire rotisserie chicken to the floor before a single bite ended in her mouth!)
Our compromise now is that she gets all finger food on her plate, but I'll usually offer a jar of baby food at the end of the meal. I figure, if she's really hungry, she'll eat it. Most times I let her hold the spoon, too, so that if I'm stuck feeding her, at least she's also learning a useful skill. We're making slow progress. I still get frustrated, especially on evenings when I think she's eaten so well, only to pick her up and discover her entire meal sitting in the high chair. Bath time has been bumped up from a few times a week to almost nightly, due to the large quantities of food in hair. But we are definitely making progress. I guess we just have to keep plugging along, knowing someday we'll look back on this and laugh. Recently Violet has enjoyed lasagna, peas, peaches, fish sticks, tortillas, a whole bevy of tastes and textures.
But ah, I'm still looking forward to the day when she can truly feed herself. And use a napkin.
Kristine, in my experience this is quite common. Just offer her a variety of food frequently. It will be messy...just think about what the floor at daycare must look like after their meals with multiple babies! She will eat when she is hungry.
ReplyDeleteMy kids plates look exactly like ours too. They are expected to eat what is on their plate or they cannot have dessert. The tricky part is finding what they like and putting on their plate the amount you think they will eat. It is usually less than what you think! If they don't eat enough at dinner, then no snacks, except fruit. They have to take a "no thank you" bite of anything I put on their plate (yes, even if I know they don't like it) or anything new.
This process is long and evolves as the kids get older. They go through phases. I have always told my kids that this is not an all you can eat buffet. They get what they get and they don't pitch a fit. Keep in mind they are older than V and can communicate (ie whine) about what they like and don't like. There could be something on their plate I know they don't like. But there is also something I know they do like.
Hope this helps!
Marilyn