Lately I've fallen victim to one of the most classic motherhood traps, a I'll never do that when I'm a mom reversal, an ah-ha lightbulb moment that illuminates the obvious reasons why the many moms who have gone before me have trod this same path.
I'm talking about bribery.
That's right, I bribe my child.
It's not the first time it's happened, but it may be the most obvious. Sure, there have been little incidents of "if you eat all your tomatoes I'll give you some watermelon for dessert" and "if you stop screaming at me I'll turn Elmo back on".
But short of using M&Ms as a potty training tool, I try not to make the bribes so big, so monumental, that it is clearly the only reason my child is doing what I want her to do. There has to be some intrinsic motivation, too. A small part of her, acknowledged or not, knows that tomatoes are good for her and eating them is the right choice. Some inner conscience understands that screaming at a mother is wrong and should therefore be silenced, regardless of Elmo being on the other end. (Why are you snickering?)
But when it comes to napping, Violet just can't seem to understand how important this hour or two of solitude is... for me. I'm not tired she screams with conviction, or would say, if she were not too exhausted to form coherent words. So instead she just screams. Until I want to give up and start screaming too.
So in order to keep everyone happy, I've resorted to pulling out the big guns. The Holy Grail.
Popsicles.
Oh yes. You take a nap, you get a popsicle when you wake up. Easy as that. And before you judge me (or jump off your pedestal to go stock your own freezer - and you're welcome), know that I'm sticking with the homemade variety so I can monitor how much sugar and food coloring the noodle ingests. I figure, I was going to give her juice anyway, why not put it in delicious, frozen form as wield it like a carrot on a stick?
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| Lady Liberty |
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