8.22.2012

Don't Ask, Won't Tell

When you first get married, most people wait a subtle 9.7 seconds before asking when you are going to start a family. If said inquisitors are related to you, they seem entitled to the question much soon than that. And there seems to be a direct relationship with the length of time you've been with your significant other and how soon you're expected to procreate. If you've been together more than two years prior to the wedding, you can expect to get the question hurled at you on your trip back down the aisle.

After you finally have a baby, people back off for oh, a year or so before they'll start hinting around again. If motherhood has been particularly traumatic or the tears are still welling up in your eyes at the mention of round two, you might get cut some extra slack. But by the time your child is two years old, pointed glances will be made at your stomach (no, that's just a taco bump) and disappointed sighs will be heard when you  accept that offered margarita, proving once again to the world at large that you are not, in fact, harboring a bun in the oven. Unless by bun, you meant taco.

Because the problem is, most people who know you will know that you want another child. And as the two-year mark comes and goes, it becomes obvious that the time has come. That you're not getting any younger. That you've always wanted your children (relatively) close together. And woe be it to you if you've breathed a hint of "we're trying" or "this is the summer". Because that tantalizing hint just invites scrutiny, and then worry, and worse still, pity when another margarita is ordered and another taco is consumed. (Even though I happen to like my margaritas right now, thank you very much.)

And that is why, even though we see those speculative glances, and we know why you're oh-so-subtly offering margaritas, blatantly hoping I'll decline with a secret smile, we're currently operating under a "don't ask, won't tell" policy. Because the answer is no, not yet, we'll let you know.

Unless the question is "Is that a taco?" In which case, the answer is yes.

Now where's my margarita?

3 comments:

  1. My child is only 5 months old and I'm astounded at this question already. Having another kid... and trying to have another kid... is a very PRIVATE thing. They either don't care and want information anyways or they don't know it's rude. Why is it anyone's business but mine?? I would only ask or talk to my husband (and my sister) about this. People are ridiculous :-) Plus, they assume I want another... maybe I only want one!

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  2. Cute post! The question I get all the time now is, "You're done after this one, right??" Please drink a margarita for me.

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  3. Not asking!!! The older Violet is, the easier it should be for everyone.

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