And a Jar of Marbles

We had a baby dedication at church. It was nice, different from the usual ones I've seen, where at some point during the usual church service, the families come up, the pastor says a few words, everyone sings "Jesus Loves the Little Children," you get your Bible and sit down. Sound familiar?

This one took place on a Saturday and the chairs in the sanctuary were out, replaced by round tables. We'd all been encouraged to invite friends and family, people who would be instrumental in the raising of our child. The room was bursting at the seems and full of happy noises, babies crying, siblings whispering, good life sounds.

We listened to an older couple talk about parenting. Having successfully raised three well-functioning children into adulthood, they had their credibility. One thing that I've been reminded of time and time again stood out. Parenting is hard, of course. But people make out the baby year to be the hardest. You have a squalling, entirely dependent being plopped into your life who has major needs but no way of communicating those needs short of yelling at you at full volume. You lose sleep. You do laundry 47 times per week. You think about your pre-baby life in disbelief. And yes, the baby year is hard, no doubt. But it's not parenting. It's survival - for you and your baby. That's all you're doing. You're instilling love through your gentle hands and loving responses to that terrorist child's every need. But it's not parenting.

Parenting kicks in a few years later, when the choices you make and the responses you have to your child will set them down the path towards success or the therapist's office. And half the time you don't know which path you're on.

I was talking to a mom of one of Violet's classmates. She asked me how the summer was going and I told her the whining around our house was EPIC. "I know," she sympathized. "I just keep telling myself it's a phase, it's only a phase." And while that might be true, that all things do indeed pass, I feel like my reactions to the whining are crucial. Giving in, standing firm, yelling, responding with loving patience, ignoring it - there are so many choices, and I really want my reaction to be the drop in the bucket of a kind, respectful person. I'm growing a human being over here! God forbid the way I respond the 83rd time she asks to watch another My Little Pony episode in a screeching voice that could cause a dog to chew its own leg off be the one response that tips her over the edge towards being a horrible, snotty, self-absorbed, entitled brat when she's 14. (Although the teenage years might be a lost cause.) This is parenting, people!

At the baby dedication, each family got a huge jar of marbles. (Cue the "losing your marbles" jokes.) There was one marble to represent each week of our child's life from birth until they turn 18 and (presumably, God-willing, here's hoping) graduate high school and move away to college. That's 936+ marbles, just to save you math nerds some time. And yes, it's a lot of marbles. But every week you remove one. And slowly the pile will dwindle. The tagline is: Count your weeks, so you can make your weeks count. This is it. This is the amount of time we have as parents to imprint our child with the values, habits, traditions, we want them to carry forth with them into the world. It's a good visual reminder that what we do this week will matter over time. Thank God there are so many marbles in case this turns out to not be my best week ever!

Losing my marbles!

Part of the prep for the baby dedication service was coming up with five core values we wanted to focus on as a family. I had to google "core values list" because I wasn't even sure what it meant (and to think, we're already on our second child! Eek! Talk about playing catch up!) There were the obvious love and faith and generosity. But I had an easier time picking traits I don't want my kids to have. I want them to have whatever the opposite of laziness is. (Diligence?) I want to instill in them the opposite of entitlement. (Gratitude?)

The other part of our homework before the service started was coming up with two family habits that would help us grow these values. Clearly these values need to be modeled. They need to be taught in a hands-on, real-world way. We need to talk about them. We need to use the big words, show the big picture. We need to explain why we love others, why we share what we have. I'll be honest, it's scary and exhausting to think of all the work that goes into growing responsible citizens of this world.

We'll take it one marble at a time.

Annie 9 Months

It's getting harder to get a picture that's not blurry!

 So we're a couple days late (blame a beach trip and a stomach bug) but here it is, Annie at nine months. It's getting harder and harder to capture pictures that aren't blurry. She's always on the move these days. Sweet girl is trying so hard to crawl. I'd have to go back and check, but I think she's matching up with Violet as far as the crawling milestone. Probably by 10 months she'll have it down. But oh how she wants to. She lunges forward, pushes up on her knees, leeeeeans over, and her one little thigh and its multitude of rolls just gets caught up underneath her. She either face plants or wisely sits back, often to try the same move in the other direction. She can actually scoot herself across the floor in this manner, or she can roll herself where she wants to go. Practical girl, use the skills you've got! She starting to pull up on things, so the bumper is gone and the crib is being lowered. The infant carrier is out and the convertible car seats are in. I just can't lug that carrier around anymore - I've been taking her out and carrying her everywhere for a week or two now.

Currently there are two top teeth attempting to push through. I saw just the slightest line of white while we were at the beach. Here's hoping they cut though quickly. And speaking of teeth, this girl eats everything in sight. Short of really hard or chewy food, she eats it. Favorites right now include mandarin oranges, green beans and cheerios. Annie is just as vocal as ever. We hear lots of ya-ya-yas and ah-dahs. I've also heard some mama! She's doesn't mean me yet, but at least I know she can make the sounds now.

Tomorrow we go for our nine-month well-check and shots. Whoo-hoo! I'm going to see what they think about her eyes, as one is still tracking slightly behind the other. PT recommended we get a referral to a pediatric ophthalmologist. Fun times. But other than that, I'm pleased with where she is physically and developmentally. It's funny, other babies her age are crawling or pulling up, standing, whatever. I'm just so excited she can roll over and has full rotation of her neck. Every little achievement of hers seems like such a huge accomplishment because we've had to work much harder to get there. But honestly, she's such an awesome baby. I could have more if I knew they would be just as easy going and awesome as her!

EDIT: Here are the stats from our well-check: height - 29 3/4 inches (98th percentile!), weight - 22 pounds (90-95th percentile!), head circumference - 18 1/4 inches (95th percentile!). We have ourselves a big girl!

Annie and Cooper

 

They could have played fetch forever!

The Beach!

We just returned for our annual neighborly trip to Jacksonville, Florida. This time, we had three families, three cars, five adults, six kids, and we all crammed into one lovely house. It was the best. This is the third year we've been on the trip and every year it is different. This time we kicked Amy's very obliging parents out of their house and took over (to be fair, we sent them to a very nice hotel room!)

Jacksonville or bust!

We hit the road on Friday right after picking up all the kids from VBS. Violet was so excited to be going to Florida, but also at the prospect of all the movies she was going to be allowed to watch in the car! Annie was a trooper, not losing it until 6 p.m. when we finally stopped for dinner.

Shopping for 13

After settling into DeeDee and Papa's house and doing a little night swimming in their pool, we hit the beach nice and early. I'm happy to say both my girls absolutely loved it. Annie sat by the water's edge and explored the sand between her fingers, Violet braved the waves. This crew really knows how to set up a beach camp - we had plenty of tents for shade, a nice little bed for Annie to nap on, plenty of food to keep everyone happy - it's the only way to do the beach right!

Annie beach tent - perfect!

My sweet beach baby!

Crazy girl!

Annie fell in love with Papa's dog Cooper. The two of them had the best time - well, Annie did at least! She would hold out a ball to him and he would grab it and drop it. Then she'd scoot her little self over to it and repeat the whole process, giggling the whole time. I really thought she would learn to crawl while we were there. She is so close and Cooper was such good motivation!

Post breakfast shenanigans.

Starting the sand castle with Christian

Finished product with Reece

Amy taught us how to make lemonade with lemons and peppermint sticks!

Day two we headed to the beach again, although this time a massive thunderstorm cut our visit a few hours short. We made up for it with movie night at the house. The last day, Matt and Violet headed to the water park while I stayed home with Annie. I can't bear the thought of paying the crazy entrance fee to the park, only to sit around with the baby. Fortunately for me (though unfortunately for her) Kim had to stay home as well with a sick kiddo. And very unfortunately for the rest of us, the stomach bug got passed around. But at least we made it home before it hit anyone else!

Down the slide by herself!

Watching My Little Pony in the morning.

Our beach crew!

Being Sisters

Sweet big sister helping Annie with some breakfast.

They seem to genuinely like each other. Annie is certainly a happier baby when she has her big sister to watch and play with. There have been a few scuffles, like when I resurrect an old Violet toy for Annie to play with and Violet suddenly develops attachment syndrome, nevermind that she hasn't played with her Little People farm in a good two years and had zero percent interest until Annie figured out how to make the chicken cluck-cluck. But for the most part, Violet runs around like her crazy self and Annie is content to watch and learn and squeal. Moments like these are exactly what I was hoping for with sisters - I'm so glad I got two girls!

(Truth: a girl and a boy would have been fine of course!)

(Truthier: I was secretly hoping for another girl.)

Taking a walk together, they insisted on touching each other the whole time.

Miss America

Annie figured out how to wave a week or so ago, and ever since I've been trying to capture it on camera. While most babies seem to wave by opening and closing their fingers up and down, Annie does this little wrist twisting action. It's her version of the Miss America wave. You know, it's good to start practicing early, just in case! Can you picture me as a pageant mom? I'm sorry, did you just throw up a little? Yeah, me too. I would be the worst pageant mom in the history of pageants. Wear your old dress, who cares? Do your own hair, save a few bucks! You want to put double-stick tape where?!

Father's Day

This one goes out to Matt, the daddy of our girls. The one who always has a "comfy arm" for Violet to fall asleep on. The one who Annie lights up for. The one who kills the bugs, retrieves things from the attic, balances our bank account, changes the oil, plays the good music, mans the grill, does his own laundry... he is that one. That amazing one.

Family Weekend

In honor of my mom's retirement from a long and illustrious teaching career, and an early Father's Day celebration for my dad, who will be out of town on the actual day, I hosted a family weekend up here in our neck of the woods.

Playing with Papa.

Water baby!

Chillin' to the max!

Post-pool nap. 

Mimi time!

Everyone gathered Friday night for the traditional pizza and movie night. Violet picked Despicable Me, which we've seen often but was new to everyone else. It elicited quite a few belly laughs from my brother. It's funny, I'm often so distracted and multitasking during movie night, I think I've watched the whole thing. But subsequent viewings always leave me with a new scene or a line I missed. The part where Gru puts the three girls to bed and has to read them an insufferable children's book is always a favorite. But the new line that had me cracking up when when the girls request to hear said insufferable children's book and Gru replies, "It was accidentally destroyed. Maliciously." Ha! There are a few books in Violet's room that I would not be sad to see meet the same fate, not gonna lie.

Saturday we enjoyed my dad's amazing omelet (which we decided is actually more of a frittata), the boys went to gather grilling supplies, and then we all hit the pool. It was a lounging, do what you feel like, kind of day. We capped the day off with burgers on the grill and brownies for dessert, enjoyed on the "party porch," courtesy of my new patio lights. It was a great way to spend time with family!

The party porch!

Back to School Already?

Teaching her class.

I came upon this scene in the playroom, not even one day into summer break. Violet told me she was playing "teacher". Nice little class she has assembled, huh? I'm sorry to report that Annie did not pay very good attention to story time. The little bug has figured out how to scoot around on her butt. She's not very fast, but given enough time, she can work her way across the room. We've had a few face plants, but on the whole it's working quite well for her! My days of plopping her down and expecting her to stay until I return are over.

Drawing lessons for kitty.

Waving at mommy!

Sweet Friends

Violet is going to miss her school pals this summer! They'll all be in class while we're hanging out at the pool, lounging around the house, annoying each other (ah, the life of a teacher's kid!) Good thing we've got ballet camp and VBS planned with some of them. Gotta get a summer fix of friends!

Hello Summer!

School's out!

Which means I'm looking forward to this...

...and more of this....

...and maybe even some of this! Happy summer!