3.27.2012

These Days are Precious

Dear Friends,

Sometimes I am reminded that I am small. Life is short. These days are precious. We hold to this life with but one thread, swinging, dangling.

But God is big.

Recently I discovered a remarkable woman, mother, writer. Please read her story. (She's linked in my blog roll on the right.) Read her story, lift up your prayers of healing, and revel in the fact that our God has given us the marvelous gift of another day to be alive, to breath deeply, to kiss our children, to see the amber glow of sunset.

3.26.2012

Mine

So as I keep reminding you, Violet is Two. With a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for... Petulant. (What I really wanted was Whiny, but that doesn't start with P or rhyme with T. Still, Petulant, as it turns out thanks to dictionary.com, works as well.)

Petulant: moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, especially over some trifling annoyance. As in, when I saw she had included another nerdy dictionary definition, I dismissed her with a petulant wave of my hand.


Or


When Violet realized that R. was playing with her toy car, she gave a petulant wail and ran after him wildly, tearfully demanding he give it back.
 
Basically, Violet has a case of "mine-itis" (thanks Sesame Street for that lesson in sharing) and will be moved to tears at the drop of a hat if anyone dares lay a finger on her stuff. Nevermind that it's something she hasn't played with in months. Or that she just dropped said toy in favor of something much better. Or that she insisted a friend give up a toy, only to change her mind when friend's next toy was something else she wanted. 

 The other night she went to sleep with two pillow pets, a blanket, two Elmos, a sippy cup and a book, all because she insisted it all belonged to her and refused to go to bed with it. Tonight we had to share the dinner table with a toy dog and a plastic watering can (random), without which Violet could not be convinced to eat anything.


How do I encourage sharing? Or at least get her to ease up on the mine-mine-mine? Or do I just sigh petulantly and dip into my reserves of patience until this, too, passes?

 

3.22.2012

Starting Over from Scratch

One of these days my husband is going to look at me and say something romantic along the lines of "so, when are we having another kid?" Because this is pretty much how this first one came around.

Don't get me wrong, having him say those words the first time was a beautiful thing. It meant that I wasn't the only one wanting to jump the parent train. It meant I didn't have to do anything sneaky like "forget" to take my pill or whine and beg until he agreed just to shut me up. I love that Matt wanted to become a dad as much as I wanted to be a mom, and he was willing to put it out there first.

And inevitably, one of these days, we'll want another one. I'm not presuming when. I just know we both want Violet to have a sibling eventually. I even changed the name of the blog (anyone notice?) because "and then there were three" won't always apply (and I always hated that name anyway. Although not to go off on a tangent now, but I have yet to think of something witty to replace it, something that sums up exactly what I do here... of course, since I'm still figuring out exactly what I do here, naming is a rather vague endeavor.  I'm accepting suggestions. Winner gets a prize to be determined later.)

But I have to be honest. The idea of going back to the infant stage is mind-boggling to me. I love babies - their sweet, milky skin, the way they just lay there and don't talk back or argue about what clothes to wear... I digress. I love babies, I do. But what I've realized with Round One is that I really like babies when they stop being babies and start contributing.

Life got better once Violet started smiling back. Just that small reward was enough affirmation for me to know I was doing something right and my daughter might possibly like me a little. Life got much better when she could sit up by herself. It got infinitely better when she could move herself around. And when she's out of diapers and vacuuming for me? I can't even tell you how magical that will be! I know some moms that miss the infant stage, that sweet innocence. I argue that life gets far more interesting the older your child gets. It gets harder, in its own way, but more satisfying.

Sweet baby Madeline came to visit us last weekend and even though she's not an infant anymore, I still groaned when I saw the trunk full of supplies her parents had to tote for her - bags of baby food and utensils, the bottles, the bibs and clothing changes, a portable high chair, teething toys - save me! I am not looking forward to going back to that!

When I think of the way the baby bottles and accessories take over the kitchen and dishwasher, my shoulders tense up a little. And the drool. And the breast pump. And the clutter that is the baby swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer, high chair, infant tub... This article pretty much sums it all up (hilariously) for me. In those dark, future days I'll be sure to cling to this quote:

On the horizon is a kitchen devoid of bottles, nipples and bottle warmers. You will reclaim your countertop, your cupboards and your dishpan hands. Can I get a "Hallelujah"?

And this one:

You'll figure out how to carry the infant car seat that weighs five times what your baby does, your purse and the-cup-of-coffee-that-is-the-only-thing--keeping-you-from-crashing-the-car-thank-you-very-much, all at the same time. 


Of course, I'll need to figure out how to carry the infant car seat/purse/coffee while I wrangle the older sibling from running out in front of a car in the Target parking lot. Hmm...

3.21.2012

Sad Face

The time out chair.
Ah, the salty taste of tears. The seasoning of life.

Violet's tears come in many forms. There are the useful tears, like when she panicked after I pulled the front door shut so I could gently but firmly decline the offer of a traveling saleswoman. "Wow, she's really freaking out," the woman remarked, watching Violet spaz through cut-glass windows that flank the door. She left quickly. And Violet was rewarded handsomely for her performance.

There are the tears designed to elicit sympathy and potentially a snack. "I hurt my (insert body part here)!" she'll wail, producing two fat, glistening tears that shine tremulously on those perfectly chubby cheeks. Generally the all-powerful kiss from mommy or daddy, and possibly her boo-boo buddy ice pack are enough to send her merrily on her way before the tears manage to track too far down her face.

"I need the dat!" (dat = cat)
There are the angry tears, the ones that appear when Violet ends up in time out for some unwise choice (hitting mommy, refusing to listen, etc). These waterworks are generally combined with a sorrowful wail of "I'm ready!" with arms outstretched. We have to set the timer now to make sure she stays put for the appropriate amount of time or that face will melt my resolve.

It's amazing to me how quickly Violet can go from one emotion to the next. In one day, nay an hour, she can swing from the highest, giggliest high to the depths of despair and back again. It must be exhausting to be a toddler, wearing your raw emotions on the surface like that. But oh, when she's happy, there's nothing better in the world!

3.19.2012

Hints of Spring

Thanks to a lack of inclement (stormy; unmerciful) weather this year, we're out of school today. Last year's week-long freak snowstorm stole all these pockets of freedom from our calendar, but this winter has been so mild, we're getting to relish these happy breaks.

And um, when did it become spring? I'm still surprised when I go outside and realize the trees are all budding. I'll catch myself feeling sorry for the sweet little purple flowers blooming in the backyard, worried that winter is going to plan a sneak attack and kill them. It never got cold enough for me to wear my winter coat, so part of me is still waiting to feel the coming chill. But no, it looks like warmer weather is here to stay and we are taking full advantage of it this long weekend.

Of course, being at home for an extra day with no plans has me noticing the little details that have fallen by the wayside. Usually I can ignore the crumbs on the floor and hand prints smeared on the door until the cleaners arrive, but today I'm seeing things with new eyes. I innocently took a clorox wipe to the pantry door yesterday to clear up a spot and six wipes and ten minutes later, I was still scrubbing. The more I rubbed and swiped, the dirtier I realized it was! So we're due for a spring cleaning and sorting and putting away and donating.

But not today. Today is a day for doing nothing. After enduring the stresses of school observations, end of quarter grading, report cards and spring conferences, it's nice to loll.

Yesterday was a perfect day. I am starting to learn how to appreciate them, be present and savor them, now that I've experienced the hard days.* It was so warm outside that Violet and I were both in shorts and tanks, exposing our pasty white legs to the world. I took a new book outside and for what seemed like hours, we sat in the sunshine. Violet played happily on her own or with our neighbor, splashing in the water table. I'm seeing glimpses of how this summer will be different from the last. Now she's old enough for some of the toys I tried to get her to use last season, to disappointing results. This year she seems content to splash away, or take endless loops on her tricycle, while I can sit merely observing, called on only when desperate times call for desperate measures, like the fetching of a snack. I'm already looking forward to how we'll spend our summer days (when I'm not terrified of the thought of being a mom-on-call 24/7).

Anyone up for a tea party? There's enough to share!

Some other random tidbits I haven't shared yet... After Violet's success on the potty, we've taken a step back. She has straight-up refused to have anything to do with potty again. No amount of potty books or m&m bribes will budge her. So I'm dropping the matter for now. Honestly the thought of potty training seems a little exhausting anyway. I'd rather wait until she's ready to do it, like we did with the pacifier.

Also, Violet refuses to wear dresses. This makes me sad. I was the opposite as a kid - I refused to wear pants. To the point of tears. I can get Violet into skirts without too much fuss, but she has so many cute dresses just going to waste in the dresser. I did manage to sneak one onto her the other day by calling it a shirt (a really long shirt) and allowing her to wear shorts underneath. We'll see how it  goes. I'm just hoping she lets me put her in an Easter dress.

Staying cool in the shades.

*And by hard days, I mean difficult by my standards. You know, Violet takes 45 minutes to get dressed or I forget a much-needed ingredient at the grocery store. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing. I know people whose children are suffering from brain tumors or getting arrested for drug possession - obviously our suffering is not on the same scale. I get it. I thank God for it. Once Violet stops yelling at me, at least. Then I can count my blessings.

3.15.2012

Uninspired


Lately I haven't felt inspired to write. I've been busy, I haven't had time to take pictures (I hate to blog without pictures), I haven't had much to say. It makes me sad, because I love to write. I love to write so much I once wrote over 50,000 words in one month. And then did it again. And again. But these days I come home so brain dead that I can't seem to muster up anything worth saving. Maybe I'm worried that the mundane details of my life are too boring for anyone to care about. Lately I feel like I've been taking to the airwaves to complain about tantrums and mommy drama a little too often. Hopefully that will change soon. I mean, I hate to disappoint my 38 loyal fans and all. So I'll just leave you to feast your eyes on the cuteness that is Violet. Love that messy, crazy, lovely girl.


3.13.2012

Click!

I love the camera I got for my birthday! I just need to figure out how to use it. Mind control perhaps?

Ooh, you look through the little windows, eh?

Hmm. Bad lighting.

Starring in photos is better than taking them, anyway!

3.11.2012

Hanging with the Boys

The satisfied smile of a potty pee-er.
Well, she did it again. We had another successful trip to the potty. And I'll stop talking about it now lest you think this blog is going to spiral into some Bridget Jones' Diary-esque account of Violet's toilet training saga.

Well, it probably won't be the very last you hear on the subject, since we're just entering this uncharted territory and have all sorts of fun left before we can put a stamp of success on the matter. But I'll stop talking about it for now.

In other news, Violet got to hang out with a new crowd today! Usually she's the baby of the neighborhood, but this afternoon we got to visit with an old circle of friends (we're so old, we now have kids to bring to our events) and Violet was the oldest. It's so nice to have friends with kids. I used to be the only one stuck inside with a baby while everyone else got to live it up. But now we all get to hang out and swap war stories (and burp cloths) together. It's a little louder, but more fun. There's a whole new dynamic, a new level of what we have in common. Plus no one minds if there are crumbs on the floor or tears over spilled milk.

So here is Violet with her new buddies. Doesn't she look enormous in comparison to these boys? Granted, she's a year (or more) older, but still. Boys. Always boys! Someone around here needs to have a girl!

And speaking of new babies, two dear friends have both recently announced that they're expecting for the first time, so here's to new future playmates!

Hanging with the boys.

The cougar goes in for a kiss! (Jackson doesn't seem thrilled.)

3.10.2012

A Good Day and a Milestone

Today was a good day. It's such a relief to be able to say that, especially since this space has been somewhat depressing lately. I can always tell when things get too gloomy around here because I start getting concerned phone calls from the grandmas and encouraging "hang in there" emails from dear readers. Sorry ya'll, just trying to tell it like it is. Thanks for sticking around.

But like I said, today was a good day. Weekends are always a bit of an unknown around here. We get frustrated, Violet gets frustrated, you get the picture. But today, I don't know... I had an extra measure of patience, perhaps. Or I planned an extra 30 minutes into our routine so no one felt rushed and frustrated. Or we were all on the same page finally. Whatever it was (okay, call it grace), it all added up to a relaxing, productive day.

We started with a birthday party. (Okay, we started with a 5:45 a.m. wake-up call, but let's skip to the positive parts of the story.) Violet's BFF Emma celebrated her second birthday at a cool place called Catch Air - an indoor playground full of inflatables and slides and giant balloons. It was so much fun to watch Violet playing with kids her own age. Around the neighborhood, Violet is the baby. But at the party with her school friends, she seemed so different, so grown up, calling for Emma to follow her and running around from toy to activity. It looked like everyone had a blast!


Of course, when I asked Violet what her favorite part of the party was, she said "cake".
I got some school work done (grades are almost almost finished!) and Violet played outside on this beautiful day. We had a pleasant trip running errands (can't always say that these days so I'm appreciating the small things) and then Matt went to the grocery store and cooked dinner (I'm so lucky!)

But perhaps the biggest news of all (insert drum roll here).... Violet went pee-pee in the potty! (Gaaa - can't believe I'm actually publishing these words out loud - sorry for the over-sharing, everyone - but it's big news around here.) She's been sitting on the potty at school now that she's switched to the early preschool room, and she'll sit on ours here while she waits for the tub to get filled for bath time. But until now, no results. Well, yesterday I explained that if she managed to produce, there would be an m&m reward (pediatrician endorsed). Well, you know Violet and the motivating force that a snack can be. And wouldn't you know it, today when I went to put her in the tub, there was something in the potty! So we gave her the m&m and did a big happy dance and promptly had to explain why there couldn't be any more m&ms right now, but she does seem motivated. We'll see if this is the start of the next big something.

Pizza Night


Even though we cook regularly with our neighbors, sometimes it's fun to have a spontaneous homemade pizza night.




Matt, the master dough-slinger, whips up some whole-wheat crust. We always get our fresh dough from Publix, but this is the first time trying whole wheat. It was surprisingly yummy.


Check out the fun candle we got for Christmas - a candle cork!


A feast in progress (we cooked the pizza in batches so there was always another pie coming out fresh from the oven).

3.08.2012

Battlefield

It's been a rough parenting week, I'm not going to lie. Violet has been especially "two". She wails at bedtime. She puts Matt through the wringer every morning as he tries to get her ready for school. She pushes my buttons trying to climb into the car by herself. She wants to do everything herself. We spend our days trying to navigate around the minefield, never knowing where the next explosion will occur.

The other night we finally got her put to bed after a particularly nasty fight. And of course, putting Violet to bed is just the beginning of my evening. I still had papers to grade and the house to pick up. But it was just such a relief to have her safely out of our hair. Matt and I actually got to spend some time together. He started making a soup while I took care of some school work, then I jumped in to help stir the pot and chop ingredients. It was a wonderful little moment of calm and togetherness.

Which made up for the scene Violet and I created at daycare as I tried to alternately cajole, threaten and force her into her carseat as we blocked the driveway in the middle of the afternoon rush. She was screaming and doing the Exorcist arch, I was thisclose to losing it and just driving away, car seat be damned, and it all happened under the amused/horrified eyes of the daycare staff. Not my finest parenting hour.

I'm trying to keep calm and carry on. As wiser heads have pointed out, Violet's not doing it on purpose at this age. She  is growing and changing and just trying to express herself without a fully developed range of vocabulary or skills. She's going through some big transitions (moving to early preschool room at daycare - sniff!). And no doubt she picks up on the stress I've been carrying these last few weeks with school and grades and report cards and conferences and the nightmare that is Third Quarter.

So I'm cutting us both some slack. I'm making a real effort to be present in the time I have with her, especially on the weekends, instead of immediately getting annoyed when she needs some attention and I just really want to finish another episode of Downton Abby. (Note I didn't say I'm making an effort to enjoy every moment, because a lot of these moments aren't enjoyable no matter how you spin them. I'll settle for just acknowledging and accepting them.)

3.06.2012

Be Still

Hi, it's me again. Remember me? It's been far too long since I last posted here and I apologize. I hate it when my favorite blogs don't update frequently and well, since I'm my favorite blog... sorry. I've been struggling to find a balance lately and writing here has fallen a bit further down the priority list than I would have liked. Between stress at work and parenting struggles, as soon as Violet is asleep for the night it's all I can do to drag myself to my chair and turn on Downton Abby. But I don't mean to complain. Life is good, when I take the time to be still and remember. Maybe that's a good plan for today - be still.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...