Battlefield

It's been a rough parenting week, I'm not going to lie. Violet has been especially "two". She wails at bedtime. She puts Matt through the wringer every morning as he tries to get her ready for school. She pushes my buttons trying to climb into the car by herself. She wants to do everything herself. We spend our days trying to navigate around the minefield, never knowing where the next explosion will occur.

The other night we finally got her put to bed after a particularly nasty fight. And of course, putting Violet to bed is just the beginning of my evening. I still had papers to grade and the house to pick up. But it was just such a relief to have her safely out of our hair. Matt and I actually got to spend some time together. He started making a soup while I took care of some school work, then I jumped in to help stir the pot and chop ingredients. It was a wonderful little moment of calm and togetherness.

Which made up for the scene Violet and I created at daycare as I tried to alternately cajole, threaten and force her into her carseat as we blocked the driveway in the middle of the afternoon rush. She was screaming and doing the Exorcist arch, I was thisclose to losing it and just driving away, car seat be damned, and it all happened under the amused/horrified eyes of the daycare staff. Not my finest parenting hour.

I'm trying to keep calm and carry on. As wiser heads have pointed out, Violet's not doing it on purpose at this age. She  is growing and changing and just trying to express herself without a fully developed range of vocabulary or skills. She's going through some big transitions (moving to early preschool room at daycare - sniff!). And no doubt she picks up on the stress I've been carrying these last few weeks with school and grades and report cards and conferences and the nightmare that is Third Quarter.

So I'm cutting us both some slack. I'm making a real effort to be present in the time I have with her, especially on the weekends, instead of immediately getting annoyed when she needs some attention and I just really want to finish another episode of Downton Abby. (Note I didn't say I'm making an effort to enjoy every moment, because a lot of these moments aren't enjoyable no matter how you spin them. I'll settle for just acknowledging and accepting them.)