That Time Gus Climbed the Tree

Sunday night, while I was dying of the flu, our indoor cat Gus somehow escaped the house, as has been known to happen a time or two (dude stalks the door like it's his life)... and then climbed 30 feet into a tree (as has been known to happen... never). Oh, and I should mention that Sunday night was freezing and raining, the best kind of weather for midnight tree climbing.

Matt discovered him after returning home from a concert (that I was supposed to be at too - stupid flu!) Gus was up there meowing like it was somehow our fault he was up there. Seriously, this cat.

Well, when he wasn't down by morning, Matt did what any responsible cat owner who has ever read a children's book would do - he called the fire department. Well, wouldn't you know it, but they don't actually rescue cats from trees anymore, if they ever did! See, don't believe everything you read people! Animal control did stop by, but the kind man took one look and offered "he'll come down when he gets hungry enough" and left.

Plans were devised. Neighbors were called. Nerf guns were aimed and shot. Nothing worked. Meanwhile, the crows and hawks had started circling, seriously pissed about the cat in the tree. Gus, for his part, played it pretty cool. And loud. He couldn't figure out why we hadn't rescued him yet. Like it was somehow our fault he was in this mess. Here's how I imagine our conversation went.

Us: Gus, come on buddy! Come down!
Gus: You morons. Come up here and get me. Can't you see how high up I am?
Us: Gus, you want some food?  Here kitty kitty! Come down and get it.
Gus: Don't patronize me. I'm in a tree, for crying out loud. How dare you leave me up here!
Us: Gus. You idiot. Fine. Stay up there.
Gus: Fine! Maybe I will!
...you get the gist

By Tuesday, Matt (and the rest of our neighborhood, I might add) came to the conclusion that after two days of freezing cold rain, nothing was bringing this stupid cat down. The experts would have to be called. Fortunately, our neighbor realized she knows a guy. And the guy graciously offered to swing by on his lunch break with his tree climbing gear. Thanks, Rob from Downey Trees Inc!

Gus was super excited to see a human.

He was less excited about being stuffed into a pillowcase for the ride down.

Long story short, Gus was rescued from the tree and is happily resting at home, warm and fed, just as annoying as ever. Yes friends, we had to hire* a tree removal company to climb up and save our stupid cat. This ranks right up there with the time we had to pay for an emergency blood transfusion for our other cat. What is it with our cats? We really must look into dogs.

Haha, suckers!

*Rob actually refused to be compensated for his work. The best, right?! I tried to convince him, but he told me to "spend it on making sure the cat is okay". I plan to use the money to pay someone to take the cat from us. 50 bucks, any takers? Anyone?

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I'd like to thank Rob of Downey Trees Inc, officially our new tree guys, once we actually need tree service and not cat removal service. I'd like to thank Kim, for putting us in touch with Rob. I'd like to thank Reed for sacrificing his Nerf arrow in the quest to knock Gus from the tree. The entire neighborhood deserves praise for their support and concern during GusGate2015. Matt devised some clever though unsuccessful rescue attempts and never gave up on the cat. Thanks to Lee Anne, for keeping Annie inside while the tree guys were here. Thank you to Google+, for artfully and automatically designing the lead photo without me asking. And of course, this story is dedicated to Gus, without whom we would never have gotten into this mess in the first place.

No cats were harmed during the making of this story.