One Year Ago

Friday was our first official day of pre-planning. Of course, as a new teacher, I've been into the school for the entire week leading up to this day, trying to get the room ready and attending orientation meetings. But Friday was the official day.

As I reflected back over the day, I remembered what it was like just one year ago on the first day of pre-planning. It was Violet's first day at daycare and I was freaking out. I can recall sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by people I had only just met for the first time, trying to pay attention to our principal as he mapped out various new policies and strategies, most of which was going straight over my head. I was desperately missing my baby girl, hoping she was okay. At one point, Amy slipped out with her cell phone and returns to scrawl a note to me that read "Just called daycare, Violet is doing great, just finished a bottle..." It was an overwhelming day and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

And now, a year later, some things were so different and some were still the same. I wasn't as overwhelmed. I recognized the faces. The school lingo made more sense. I worried about my sweet girl but I trusted she was in good hands. I didn't need to call daycare to check in. Sure, I felt harried and under pressure to get my room ready, plans written, open house folders stuffed... But I am so thankful I had last year to ease into my role as a working mom. I am so glad I could mentally prepare for what Friday would look like and how it would feel. This is the way my path was meant to go. And it feels good knowing that.

After lunch on Sunday with my dear friend Tatum, we were talking about our past teachers. He couldn't recall having strong feelings either way about his first grade teacher, but he vividly remembered his second grade teacher. What made the difference? "My second grade teacher was warm and kind and I could really tell that she cared about me," he said. And for the first time, I stopped worrying about how I would make sure my kids learned their stuff and made the grades and succeeded so I would look good as a teacher. I realized that maybe it's just as important for them to know I care about them.